


Broken In My Own Skin (On Hiatus Until Further Notice)

by MarcusBlues16



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Angry Odin, Dom Thor, Feels warning ahead, Forced Ejaculation, Forced Eye Contact, Hits of Past Mpreg, Incest, Jotunheim, Jotunn pregnancy, Libertys Taken, Loki Feels, Loki's Other Children, M/M, Mpreg, Mythological References, Post-Avengers, Random OC's - Freeform, Rape, References to Torture, References to mind-control, Sub Loki, Thor Is Not Stupid, Thor is a BAMF!, Uncle Thor, Unplanned Pregnancy, pre-avengers, slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-27
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2017-12-09 18:03:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarcusBlues16/pseuds/MarcusBlues16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki loves Thor, that is something he has known for a very long time, and even though he tries very hard to hide it, he isn't always successful. He is never aware of how people look at him, or how his brother sees him. It's odd and strange and he doesn't like how he feels. The god of mischief is wanted by many people in Asgard, though he isn't always aware of it. When he is taken in the worst of ways, his heart turns black. He blocks out everything, even the love that had been building for so long. Has he broken to far to be fixed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. To Find Pain

Night was encasing Asgard, and the air was cool and calming. It was a late hour, and all in Asgard slept. All but one. Many troubling dream's had caused sleep to evade Loki, who was currently striding quietly down the passages of the Asgardian castle. His mind was lost to itself and the darkness around him was only penetrated by the small lantern's that decorated the halls. Walks such as this allowed the demigod to clear his thoughts and think. His mind was perhaps too lost, as he didn't hear the hushed foot falls of another approaching him from behind. He only noticed the other person when a strong hand clasped tightly on his shoulder, causing him to turn quickly in surprise. When Loki's eyes landed on the familiar face of Fandral, he calmed himself. He had known the other male for a few years, and was still unable to notice when he followed him.

“Oh, Fandral. It is only you.” Loki said, his voice soft and trailing in a small breath. The cool of the night made the should-be invisible breath visible. For a moment, the other male said nothing. He just studied the demigod with a look that Loki wasn't sure he liked. He could feel the tension in the air and suddenly there were hands on him, pulling him by the front of his tunic and the other on his mouth. Vibrant green eyes went wide with well placed fear as Fandral pulled him along the corridor and into Loki's own room. The room was dark as the door was pulled shut behind the two, and the agonizingly terrifying sound of the lock clicking into place resonated through it. Both realization and fear dawn upon the smaller Asgardian and he starts to struggle in the other males grasp. But to no avail. Even though Loki was an Asgardian, he relied on his magic and spells, not physical strength, though he had that too. The god of mischief gave a yelp of startled surprise as he was thrown onto his bed and abruptly had the other male atop him, knees pressing painfully into his hips and hands pinned by his head by his wrists. The grip was painful and bruising, and Loki was terrified. A hand released a wrist, but said wrist was gather in the other hand. Fandral used his free hand to grip the top of the other males tunic, and pulled. The fabric tore away revealing pale, unmarred skin that had never been touched by any other person. Tear's had since started to sear in the raven-haired males eyes as Fandral tore his pants away as well, leaving him lewdly exposed. The demigod wanted to scream, but knew that he couldn't. Fear seized his voice from doing so. There were suddenly lip's against his skin, hand's at his side's and over his body. Loki started to struggle again as panic took hold of him, thrashing about to get away from the other Asgardian.

“Fandral.....please......no.....stop....” The raven-haired male begged softly, voice cracking as tears began to stain his face. The stronger male only smirked down at him before kissing him painfully. A tongue forced its way into his mouth as hands pressed against his body. Loki soon lost the ability to struggle, he knew that he couldn't win. The mouth traveled away from his own before starting down his neck, biting sharply, drawing blood, bruising. The same attention was given to his narrow chest before he was grasped by the shoulders and flipped onto his stomach. Loki felt the other male raise his hips and heard Fandral undo his pants. The demigod closes his eyes, silently sobbing as he feel's something far to big begin to press at his entrance.

“Fandral, don't!! PLEASE....AHHH!!!!!!!!” Loki only managed to say half of what he wanted to before screaming in agony as his UN-prepared entrance was breached with one harsh thrust. The demigod could feel the flesh tare and the blood start to drip down his ass and thighs. He wanted to cry out for help, but he knew that it would be futile. The doors of Asgard where thick, and almost impossible to hear through. The Asgardian above him pulled out almost completely before thrusting back in hard and strong, causing the raven-haired male to cry out in pain as tears stained his high cheekbones and face. He can't focus on anything but the pain. Not the hard biting at his skin, the digging nail's, or the fact that his own nail's have torn through the expensive looking bedding. Fandral pulled out almost complete before thrusting back in with such a savage force that Loki thought he had torn even more, and felt like he could feel it in his throat. The larger Asgardian bit down hard on his shoulder, breaking the skin and allowing blood to flow down the smaller male's shoulder. The sudden spear of pain caused Loki to cry out. His cries only seemed to urge Fandral on and the thrusts became harder and more erratic. The older male grabbed Loki's hair suddenly and yanked, pulling his head back so that his tear and pain stained face could be seen. The sight of the pain was enough. With only two or three, Loki didn't really know, more thrusts Fandral was spilling himself within the pained and writhing body beneath his own. He rode out his orgasm, never stopping to be gentle or slow down. When he was done, Fandral pulled out roughly, whipping his semen and blood covered cock on Loki's skin before redressing. He was about to exit the room when he stopped.

“You're a whore, you know that Loki?? And now that you've been taken, Thor will never want to touch you.” The words were cold and the last thing that Loki heard before the other male exited the room. The demigod could not fight the sobs that began to wrack his thin body as his fingers clutched the sheets below him and he curled onto his side.

His crying eventually quieted as he became too tired to cry anymore and darkness clouded his vision.

The next morning is cruel to Loki. He wake's sore, with semen and blood caked on his inner thighs and crusted on his lower back. He felt ashamed as tears burnt in his eyes. What would he do now?? His lies ,while good, could only get him so far. And what would happen if Fandral came back for more?? More so, what if Thor found out?? The thought makes him feel sick, and he barely manages to get to his private bathroom before emptying the contents of his stomach. The demigods body lurched for a few moments before he calms and realizes that once again tears have filled his eyes. He suddenly want to peel off his skin, but doesn’t. Instead, he starts a hot bath and sinks into it. The water is blazing hot, scorching his skin. The mischief god can’t stop the tears that rake down his cheeks, or the way his shoulders heave as he begins to scrub his skin raw and bleeding. He couldn't get Fandral off of him. He felt as though the other’s hands were indented into his skin, tattooed their like old scars. Anger rushes through his veins as he suddenly grabs hold of a vase and hurls it, watching it shatter against the wall. His body began to tremble and god if it didn't hurt him more to know that Thor trusted Fandral. Taking a few deep breaths and regaining some of his composure, the god finished bathing and stood, wrapping a drying-cloth around his thin and abused body. He re-dressed in his usual attire and magically burned the clothing from the night before. Making sure that he was completely calm and not limping, he exited his room, completely content with wasting his day away in the library. He was halfway to the library and thought that he might actually make it through the day without seeing Thor, but his luck had not been good as of late and seemed to not be getting any better. Proof of this was that Thor and the warriors three (with the addition of Siff) rounded the corner and he was seen.  
“BROTHER! Would you care to join us in sparring?” Thor’s voice boomed and seemed to echo off the very air. Loki put on his best ‘annoyed yet passive’ face and rolled his eyes in that childish way he had done a million times before in response to the same question, arms crossing over his narrow chest. He tried not to notice the way that Fandral’s eyes followed the movement with hungry eyes, a smirk briefly ghosting over his lips.

“No Thor, I have better things to do with my day other than watch you show off.” With that said, the raven haired god walked the rest of the way to the library, ignoring the feeling of being watched. Once in his safe haven, Loki perched himself in a chair in a poorly lit corner, opening an old book across his knees, using his magic to create a green light to see by. The reading did not distract him as he wished it had, he couldn't clear his mind and he couldn't stand it. Slamming the book shut, he stood, and left the library, needing to go somewhere that provided to distract him better.

NEXT CHAPTER SOON!!


	2. Hallowed Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki begins to deal with reality, pain is overwhelming, Thor isn't as stupid as people think, and Fandral is still an asshole.

The god of mischief could not return to his chambers, not with what had happened, not yet anyway. The room now felt tainted, dirty to him and made his skin burn to be scrubbed away from the muscle. Shaking his head to free his thoughts. It was mid-afternoon, and the halls of Asgard were awkwardly silent, something that was unusual this time of day. Taking a moment to think, he figured that they must be watching Thor and his band of idiots fight one and other. Stretching slightly as he walked, the demi-god flinched at the pain that radiated through him when he did so. Glaring angrily, magic gathered at the tips of his fingers, lighting them a bright shade of green as the magic sparked to life. How could he have been so stupid the other night?? How could he NOT have noticed?? He wasn't Thor, he was supposed to be more observant than that. It was in that moment he realized that he was suddenly more angry with himself than he was with Fandral. He knew why he was angry. He was a GOD. Loki knew that he was supposed to be stronger than that, braver. A god was not supposed to freeze up like frightened children.

“DAMN!” The word left the males mouth before he even realized it had, his arm snapping up and the magic leaving his fingers, hitting a pillar and cracking it, crumbling off chunks. A maid was passing by and looked at the normally somber mischief maker in shock and fear before taking off down the hall. Allowing his arm to drop back to his side, Loki took a deep breath, calming himself before continuing down the hall. He needed to clear his head. Leaving the building altogether, he made his way through the forest to the river of Asgard. He had not been here in many day’s, and he had missed this place. Dipping long, slender fingers into the water and whistling; a serpentine head came up to greet his fingers, rubbing against them with love.

“Hello Jorgumand. How do you fare my son??” His voice mirrored that of a concerned mother, which he could not deny that he was. The serpent child had been one of his first, his second son and the third child that he had lost to Odin’s rule. The creature only rubbed it’s head against it’s mother’s hand, lacking the ability to form actual words. Loki found himself smiling despite his emotional state. Raising itself further from the water, the serpent seemed to sense it’s mother’s turmoil and rested it’s head on Loki’s shoulder, and the god wrapped his arms around his childs wet, scaly neck, feeling tears burn painfully at his eyes. Something in the back of his mind was biting at him, tugging to get to the forefront of his thoughts. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew that it brought unpleasant feelings with it and he pushed it back. The demi-god did not wish to leave, but he knew that he could not stay much longer. Bidding his child one final goodbye, pressing a kiss to it’s neck, he stood. Loki watched Jorgumand disappear below the water’s surface once more before he turned on his heel and left. The forests that surrounded Asgard where dense and beautiful, alive with animals and flowers and trees. It had it’s own breath, it’s own voice, and Loki knew both well. It wasn't as though he could speak with nature, he was just very connected to it. It seemed to protect his children in it’s own way, in way’s that his magic couldn’t. Brushing the thoughts away again, Loki gather a ball of tangible green light into his hand, allowing himself to see better. The sky was painted shades of pinks and golds, splashes of purple thrown in, beautiful. The green light in the mischief makers hand illuminated his skin, made his cheekbones stand out, his eyes seem far greener than they actually were. There was the sound of night birds and bats filling the air, the chirping of crickets providing him with their own unique music. The trek back to kingdom was quiet and peaceful, two things that Loki noticed had been absent from his life as of late. Taking another few deep breaths, the magic wielder allowed for the light to get brighter, seeming to ignite the trees with green fire. The walk back seemed both far too long and not nearly long enough. Once he'd returned, Loki noted the high-spirits and loud laughter coming from the main dining hall. It seemed that Thor was throwing some sort of celebration. For what, the mischief maker had no idea and no intention of finding out. He’d thought that he had slipped by, only to find the arm of his brother thrown across the back of his shoulders.

“BROTHER!! COME!! JOIN OUR FESTIVITIES!!” The thunder-god’s voice was loud in his ear, causing the smaller god to flinch. At the contact, Loki’s mind flashed back to hands on his shoulders, nails digging into his skin, and he pushed Thor away violently.

“THOR!! I do NOT wish to partake in ANYTHING. I had THOUGHT that perhaps my declination of your earlier invite would have TOLD you that.” The smaller god snapped angrily, eyes fierce and angry, shocking the blond. Thor knew his brother well, and though he was angered easily on occasion, this kind of anger was different. This was the kind of anger that was dangerous and he had never seen Loki so angry. The slighter god turned away and made his way down the hall, anger and shame bubbling beneath his skin. Thor watched his brother go, pain and worried etched into his features. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Sif, Fandral, Volstagg, and Hogan standing in the doorway, looking at him with concern.

“We heard yelling....is everything alright??” Sif’s voice was soft and she chose her words with care, not wanting to say the wrong thing. The thunder god let out a sign, not really sure what the proper answer should be because he didn't even know what the real answer was. Putting on a fake smile, he turned to his friends.

“I am sure that all is well. Loki is likely just tired.” The answer seemed viable enough, and they seemed to believe it. The group turned and went back into the dining hall, Fandral stopping for a moment to turn and smirk at Loki’s retreating back. He would have his fun with the ebony haired god again, though that would have to wait, he couldn't have Thor getting suspicious. One last smirk crossed his features before he turned and joined his friends in the festivities. The blond warrior noticed how distracted the prince seemed, and mentally swore to himself. All Thor seemed to be able to think of was Loki, and Fandral hated it. The blond thunder god would be his, no matter what he had to do. He’d already broken Loki, and he knew that it was only a matter of time before the raven haired god shattered.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hours passed before Loki even considered going out of his room again. God, how he hated himself. The mischief maker was all too aware of how childish he was behaving, how ungodly he was being. But every time someone touched him, brushed shoulders with him, he couldn't think of anything but Fandral’s hands on his skin and his breath against his neck. The thoughts made him shiver and feel disgusting. A ball of magic formed in his hand as anger boiled underneath his flesh and Loki threw it, breaking the only mirror that he had in his room. Even though he knew that destroying things would not fix what had happened, it made him feel a lot better. Taking a few deep breaths, he stood and looked over at his bed. He didn't even want to think of sleeping on it. Going over to it, he pulled the sheets off, ignoring the stench of stale sweat, blood, and semen. Throwing the soiled bedding to the ground, he used his magic to light them a-blaze, and watched as they burned. With that done, he placed down new sheets and stripped of the leather armor he wore, leaving him in a loose black undershirt and loose black pants. Sitting at the edge of his bed, Loki buried his face in his hands.

“This cannot keep happening....” His voice was a broken murmur, fractured in a way that he had never heard it before. He was angry, and felt hollowed out. He had never felt so alone, not even when he was young and following his brother around. What was he going to do?? He would not tell Thor or his father. Thor would kill Fandral and Odin.....the mischief maker couldn't bring himself to think about what would happen should Odin discover it. Shaking the thoughts away, he pulled himself onto the bed completely and attempted to sleep, but only found nightmares behind his closed eyes. He dreamt of hands that were not his brothers, and of his lost children. The dreams tortured him, made him want to scream in his sleep, to call out, to cry. Hours passed in such a manner before the god woke, gasping painfully and skin slick with a thin sheen of sweat. Tears burned at his eyes and his breathing was uncontrolled. He Couldn't handle this, it hurt. The slim god curled onto his side, bringing his knees into his chest. God, he couldn't do this alone, but he couldn't do this with anyone else either.

"I can't........" He whispered brokenly, the reality of everything seeming to crash into him all at once. The air of his room suddenly seemed to turn to ice, and his skin shimmered blue. This was his one secret. His one knowledge. The only thing that he had kept from his brother. No one could know. It had been so long ago that he had learned of what he really was, of the kind of creature that he had been born. That his brother was not his brother, and that his father and hidden such a thing from him. All the pain that all of it had caused.

Flashback:  
 _Loki had been in the vaults, hands pressed against the Casket of Ancient Winters, watching in fascinated horror as his skin turned azure and markings carved their way up his arms and hands. That wasn't supposed to happen. He had hoped that it had just been a trick of the eyes the first time it had happened. He could not be....becuase that would mean that he was not....the thoughts felt like poison. His mind ran with thousands of explanations, ideas, anything that would take away from what he knew he was. From what he now knew but couldn't stand to accept. Odin's voice dragged him from his thoughts._  


_"Stop." The word was sharp and solid, causing Loki to turn, watching as Odin hurried into the room, watching him with absolute dismay. The mischief maker couldn't stop the words that began to flow, the feeling of betrayal eating through his body like wild fire._

_"Am I cursed?" The word shook with his voice as the raven haired god bit back the tears that threatened to spill over._

_"No. Put the Casket down." Odin's voice was calm, as though he was speaking with someone far younger than his son. Loki did as he was asked, setting the casket back on it's pedestal and watching as his skin returns to the familiar smooth porcelain. All he could do was stare at his father, brain attempting to formulate words that he could control, but quickly finding that his control was gone._

_" What am I?" These words were whispered and pained. Odin told him that he was his son, and Loki found that he could not stop himself. His anger was boiling over. The betrayal that he felt was killing him, he couldn't stand this. He wanted to know the truth. He HAD to know the truth._

_"What more than that?" The words were quick and angry, and when Odin didn't answer, when his face changed into a burdened weariness, the young god knew the truth. He knew. But it wasn't enough to know. He had to know why._

_"_

_The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?" His voice had dropped into something sad and injured. Odin looked at his son, he knew that he could no longer hide this. He had always known that his son would find out, but he was not ready. Regardless, he spoke._

_"No. In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the Temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giant's offspring -- abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son." The words sent the raven haired god reeling. He mouthed the words to himself, not wanting to believe that he had heard right. He was Laufey's son. He wanted to make sense of it, but he couldn't. Something in his mind was stopping him from doing so. He murmured the words to himself, and he broke._

_"Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?" He questioned._

_"You were an innocent child." Odin's words only made the young frost-giant angrier._

_"You took me for a purpose, what was it?" He questioned, voice bitter and angry. When Odin didn't answer, he lost it. He completely lost himself to his emotions. He yelled for his father to tell him, a tear escaping from his eye and his chest heaving as he breathed._

_"I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace... through you. But those plans no longer matter." The all-fathers words were honest, calm, loving. But they only hurt his youngest child. They caused more pain than the revelation of what he really was._

_"So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?" His words were angry, an anger that seemed to seep from every pore of his body._

_"Why do you twist my words?" Odin questioned, trying to calm his child._

_"_

_You could have told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn't you?" Loki demanded, glaring fiercely at the older god._

_"You are my son. My blood. I wanted only to protect you from the truth."_

_"Because I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?" The mischief maker snapped. His father attempted to speak, but Loki would have none of it and continued to speak, how words becoming less controlled and far angrier._

_"It all makes sense now. Why you favored Thor all these years. Because no matter how much you claim to "love" me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the Throne of Asgard!" His father never got the words he had wished to speak out. Odin's body began to shake, and he lifted his hand. It moved out of sync, leaving a trail behind. The Odinsleep. Loki was too angry to notice as Odin fought it and tried to stop his son. He tried to stop his son, but the toll was too much, and his body began to succom to the Odin sleep. The older god slumped against a wall, and Loki felt shock hit him. He ran to his father, taking him into his arms and yelling for the guards. He needed help. He didn't know what to do. It was not until his father woke that they spoke again, only this time his mother was present._

End Flashback:

Loki curled into himself tighter, cold tears staining blue skin. He could do nothing. And suddenly, there was nothing but anger again. The true nature of his people sinking through. Now red eyes narrowed dangerously, the walls of the room icing over, windows frosting. He would get his revenge, and everyone would suffer. He didn't care who he would hurt, but they would all suffer.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
So, as you can tell this takes place after Loki learns of his heritage. This chapter isn't my best, mostly because of a few last minute choices I made, such as having it so Loki already knew about what he was. From here, it will run through altered events that follow the end of the Thor movie and will go through The Avengers. Chapters will vary in length and will allude to things that have already passed or will happen later. In the next chapter you will see a little more of Thor, Fariga, and Odin. Insite of Thor will be given and Loki will go to see more of his children. Some things you may not recognize because I am also using parts that derive from the actual mythology. I hope you enjoyed! ^ ^  
NEXT UPDATE SOON!!


	3. There is NOTHING you can do

As the days waned on, and Loki allowed his anger to grow and fester, taking on it’s own life, it’s own heartbeat. He’d become cold to those that saw him, and spent more time in the forest. He had been avoiding the world as though it was plague, but at the moment, to him, that’s all it was, and he wanted to eradicate it even if it killed him, and he knew that it probably would. He practiced his magic tirelessly, to the point of near passing out. He could kill himself doing this, but if it meant that they would all suffer, then he didn’t care. Taking a deep breath, the raven haired demigod looked around him at the carnage that he had created. The forest had once been his place of calm sanctuary, and now it was a place of destruction. All around him trees were reduced to dust and ash, others collapsed others, small animals having been crushed when they’d fallen. It didn’t matter that this was getting out of control, or that no matter what time it was he could feel his magic boil underneath his skin, his body itching to destroy, to conquer. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but one that he was beginning to like. He’d never felt so much power thrum through his veins, skittering across his skin in an almost seductive manner. He didn’t care where it was coming from or why, all he cared about was the fact that it would give him the power to destroy everything around him. He allowed the thrumming of his blood to continue only moments longer, all of this having resulted from weeks of festered anger. He had someone to see. Tree’s passed by in a blur, some freezing when the raven haired god drifted his fingers over them. There were area’s of the forest that were forbidden to everyone, area’s that meant death for just about anyone that entered. These area’s housed Loki’s children. The one’s that were still in Asgard, that was. Odin had been very careful when taking them away, assuring that none were too close to one and other. But Loki had found them. though he knew that he could not save them. Not while he was still on Asgard, and not while Odin was still king. Pushing through the brush and barbs, the Demi-God came to a stop at the mouth of a cave, staring for only a moment before going inside. It was cold yet pleasant, the air nipping at what exposed skin it could find on the slender male. There was a simple scent that permeated the air, leading Loki to where it was that he wished to be. The cave opened up into a natural spring that few knew about, where the stones were both smooth and rugged, the water was warm, and the air was pleasantly heated. It was an area that the raven-haired god was overly familiar with. He trained his eyes upwards onto the higher rocks, searching. A soft growl resonated from behind him, and the mischief maker smiled softly, turning on his heels and going to a one kneed kneel before a black wolf with green eyes. The creature growled at him for a moment before releasing a whimper and nuzzling against the side of the magic-users throat, wet nose brushing behind his ear. Long, pale, slender fingers worked their way through the fur along the back of it’s neck, brushing into smooth submission. The wolf growled happily, opening it’s mouth to carefully run it’s teeth against the demigods skin.

“I have missed you so Fenrir.” Loki murmured softly, breath and voice ghosting against the fur of the wolfs ear. He held his youngest close to him, pressing his lips against the other’s fur in a manner that was motherly; that was loving. This was his calming, to see his children.Or, those he could. Hel had been sent to some god-forsaken realm, one of which he could not find. Sleipnir was closer to Asgard than his other children, but he was not permitted to see him, the child heavily guarded from him. It was another thing he found himself hating Asgard for. He hated it for Fandral, the man that dwelled in it, for Odin, who’d taken everything from him, and for Thor, the one person who could save him but didn’t. In the back of his mind, Loki knew that it was unfair to blame all of Asgard for all that had happened, but his emotions covered any logical thinking that he had. Muted it and smothered it so that he didn’t even know where it was, he didn’t even really know that he was thinking it. Fenrir seemed to sense his mother’s distress and pulled back, licking a strip up the males cheek to sooth is distress. The green-eyed god smiled, tilting his head and nuzzling it against his son’s nose, sighing softly. He wanted to have his children with him, to never allow them to be away, but he knew that life was not kind to him. He could not have his children or his revenge until Asgard fell, and fall it would. It would turn to ash at his feet and it’s people would bow to him. He spent only slightly longer with his child, knowing that should he be found missing, people would go looking for him, something that he did not want. He felt something inside him tear, something near his heart, when he stood and went away from the child, biting back the pained whine building in his throat. Night had fallen by the time the raven haired male had returned to Asgard. The sound of delighted laughter reached his ears, and he knew that Odin was throwing a party for whatever reason. Loki slipped along the halls silently, making his way to his quarters. He in no way desired to celebrate with his family, or with anyone. His heart hung heavy in his chest. He missed his children. Letting out a deep breath, he realized that he’d walked blindly to his room. Wandering inside, he closed the door behind him and sat at the edge of his bed, peeling the clothing from his body and allowing it to drop carelessly to the floor. Standing, the demi-god leaned down and pulled off his boots, pants following them. Not for the first time was the green-eyed male happy for sound-proof walls, as he could already tell that those attending the party were getting loud. Growling to himself, the raven-haired god stood abruptly before going over to his drawers and rummaging through them. He pulled from them a deep-green shirt and black pants, beautifully tailored and sewn. Just the kind of thing for a celebration. It was true that he had no desire to attend, but he felt antsy and knew that he couldn't sit still. It was agitating. Once he was dressed, the demi-god stepped out of his room. The air was cold against his skin, a feeling that he loved. The raven-haired god followed the sounds of music and laughter, easily locating the celebration. The women were dressed in a debatably revealing manner, hanging over the men. The air reeked of pheromones and other unpleasant things. Loki lingered in the doorway, watching as the people danced happily across the floor. They had no idea what was about to unfold. Stepping into the room, some people watched him, many of their gazes hungry. Even over the noise, the demi-god could hear his brothers booming laughter, loud and clear and drunken. He went to step forward when a hand encircled his bicep and pulled, spinning the god until he was chest to chest with Fandral, and smirked at him.

“Well well, looks like a little snake got lost.” The blond male commented, forcing Loki into a dance so that the god didn't fall. The green-eyed male was tense in the other’s grasp, breathing hardly controlled as he remembered what those hands could do, the kind of pain that they could help bring. He tried to wrench himself out of the other’s grasp, but Fandral only pulled him closer, their bodies all but moulded as one. For a moment, the smaller males breath stopped, lodging in his throat as one of the other’s hands landed at the small of his back. That hand moved lower until it was resting on Loki’s left ass-cheek, squeezing uncomfortably. 

“You don’t seem quite like yourself tonight, Loki. Whatever could be the matter?” There was a smirk there, beneath the pleasure that resounded in the others voice, but the raven-haired male couldn’t see it. He refused to look up and at the other. His body was frozen as the hand moved again, fingers beginning to press against the cleft of his ass. Those around them were far too encased in whatever they were doing to notice what was going on. Once again, the god attempted to free himself, but he wasn’t as strong as the blond male and he didn’t really want to use his magic around all these people, there would be another time for that. The fingers pressed forward, and the smaller males body lurched before he was able to gain control of himself. He could feel the fear, the sense of hopelessness begin to well in his chest, as though it where trying to crush him from the inside out.

“Do you remember how it felt, Loki? Because I do. So tight and smooth and W.E.T.” The warrior punctuated the letters with hard pressed of his fingers, kneading the other males ass, his voice having been lowered to a predatory growl. There was no doubt that the other enjoyed the pain he was causing. Loki lost his self control then. He allowed one of his arms to drop to his side, and a small ring dagger shifted into his hand. Before Fandral even knew what was happening, the green eyed male drove the knife into his side, right between the ribs. Loki’s other hand pressed against the back of the blonde's neck, ear right next to the gods mouth.

“This won’t kill you, but it will hurt. I am going to bring Asgard to it’s knees. Everyone and everything will be destroyed. And you, you will live knowing that you were the cause of it all. And you will live knowing that there is NOTHING you can do to stop it.” Loki’s voice hisses as he twisted the blade before pulling free and released his grip on the blond, stepping away. The other males hand pressed against his side, blood seeping through the gaps of his fingers. He appeared confused, as though he didn't understand what had happened. Turning on his heel, the green-eyed male walked away, ignoring the strange looks others were sending him. He was about a yard from the door when he heard a startled scream and rushing feet. He could hear Thor demanding to know what had happened, but no one could answer him. A cold smirk lifted onto the young gods features as he walked into the hall, the panic and the fear following him, sinking into him as though it were a second skin. Oh yes. This revenge would be MOST enjoyable.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Thor was panicked. Yes, that seemed like the proper word for it. No one knew what had happened. All he had gotten so far was that Fandral was dancing with someone, everyone was far to drunk to remember who it had been, and then he was suddenly on the floor bleeding. But that wasn't what was disturbing the thunder god. No. When they had brought the fellow warrior to the Cleric, they had stripped the other blond of his shirt to see the wound. The wound was shaped like that of a flat diamond, and between the six and seventh rib on the left side. Thor knew of one person that always went for that spot when only wounding was necessary, and only ever used a blade that made that shape. He was simply refusing to believe it. His blood ran cold and his heart sunk to his stomach as he watched the Cleric pull a piece of pointed metal from the wound. It was black, but had a too familiar green tinge to it. Yes. He knew that blade all to well. After all, he had had them forged for Loki when the younger had come of age only a few years ago. He didn't know what to do. The blond god wasn't stupid. He had noticed, probably more often then was appropriate, how odd his brother had been acting, but he had never thought him capable of this. He didn't understand what had brought this on. He needed to tell Odin of what had happened, but more importantly, he needed to speak with his brother. Once it was assured that Fandral would be alright, the god of Thunder left the room and allowed his feet to take him the familiar path that would lead him to the mischief makers quarters. He didn't bother knocking. Loki was sitting cross-legged on his bed, broken knife in hand, cleaning it with a piece of torn fabric from his shirt. He didn't even look up. Thor felt something inside him freeze. There was something so unbelievable about his brother, his beautiful, talented brother, injuring Fandral that felt to unreal.

"Loki....." He began, voice treading as though he couldn't think of what to say. The younger god didn't look up, simply tilted his head in that way that exposed his long, elegant neck and jaw line. He possessed beauty that many women of Asgard envied. Raven hair, porcelain skin, acid green eyes. Beautiful. It almost distracted the blond from what it was that he was even there for.

"Why? Why did you attack Fandral?" At these words the smaller god ceased his movements and looked over at his brother. He let out a sigh and something that could have been comparable to a breathy laugh. Setting the blade and cloth aside, he looked at his brother, brow raised. Thor could feel his patients dwindling quickly. He needed to know why. Loki did not answer him though, just remained silent. The blond god was about to speak again when the green-eyed male stood suddenly.

"I have attacked no one. I can into my room and found my knife broken." The 'like me' was implied only to himself. The god moved to go around Thor, only to have his arm caught and his body to rigid. The thunder-god noticed this and released his brothers arm, watching as the raven-haired male left the room. He didn't understand what was going on, but he had to find out. Loki lied to many people, that much was true, but he had rarely lied to him, and when he had it had been necessary.

"Loki....." He murmured softly. He wished to go after the other, but did not. He would have to wait, and hope that any damage the acid-eyed god did could be fixed once it was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry that this took so long to get up, and I know that it's not my best work. I'm been crazy busy lately. I just moved into a new house in a new state. I'm really sorry. The next chapter will be us ASAP.


	4. A Mothers Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything goes to shit and it's no ones fault but Fandral.

Frigga loved her children. She loved them more than her own life, and more than anything else that the world could ever offer her. Thor had been her birth son, and she had loved him even before he’d left her womb. She took care of him as any mother would, even when she should have been doing other things. When Odin had brought Loki back with him from Jotunnheimr, she was nervous. She knew that it would be dangerous and in retrospect knew that it was a stupid move on her husband's behalf. Even so, when she had taken the to-small frost giant into her arms and the babies acid-green eyes looked up at her, she felt her resolve crumble. Thor had looked on curiously, not understanding the significance of the child that his mother now held. He had stared at the baby, before reaching out and poking it’s cheek. The small child had begun to wiggle around, face reddening as he was on the verge to cry. Frigga hushed the child, rocking it slowly to calm it, giving her birth-son a look from the corner of her eye. When everything had settled, she could remember kneeling before her son, Loki still in her arms.

“Thor,” She murmured, “This is your baby brother, Loki. I want you to look after him and protect him.” Her words had been soft and quiet, and Thor had nodded eagerly, blond locks going this way and that as he stared at the now sleeping child his mother held to her breast. It was a calm, easy memory for the now tired mother. Thor had grown to be a man and Loki almost such. But they had grown far apart and Frigga feared for her youngest. He had done foolish things in the past, his children to name a few, but she feared that something had happened. That something had turned him cold. He had distanced himself, grown away from her in the last few weeks. It was not something that he had done before without reason. She feared that something horrid had happened and found it difficult to focus on much else. Loki was not one to ask for assistance. He'd rather handle things on his own, fix his own problems without needing to concern others with them. Yet this was different. He no longer joined them at dinners, and no longer played the foolish tricks that he had once enjoyed a great deal. The fidgeting mother was pulled from her thoughts suddenly at the sound of her door being opened. Looking past her shoulder, she saw her eldest standing in the doorway, the expression on his face bringing her to sit up straight and stare intently at her son.

“Thor, what has happened?” Her voice was nervous and strained, words thick and starved, even to her own ears. Thor swallowed thickly before looking at his mother. His eyes appeared saddened and confused and it made his mothers heart clench with fear and trepidation.

“I fear that there is something wrong with Loki. Fandral was attacked, and when he was taken to the healers they pulled the tip of one of Loki’s daggers from the wound. Loki say’s that he found it broken, but I don’t...I can’t know if it is true.” The words were spoken calmly, almost slowly, as though the blond did not believe them, as though he did not want to. Frigga found herself standing quickly, shock and pain etched into her elegant features. She knew both of her sons well. Thor was not one to like and Loki….she didn't know. She didn't know if she could say in honesty that he would never attack someone in cold blood. Not with who he really was, but at the same time she refused to believe that he could. It was only moments before she found herself speaking in a voice that she wasn't really sure was her own.

“I will speak with him, Thor. Do not worry, that must be an explanation for what has happened.” Even saying this, her voice broke, cracking in a way it hadn't in many years. Clearing her throat, she strode regally from the room, her composure that of a fearless woman, even though on the inside she was practically bleeding.

The walk to her youngest son’s room felt abnormally long, every step echoing the fear that had curled it’s way around her heart. She too had noticed the change in her son. Had noticed the pain and anger that had echoed in his eyes, yet she had not spoken to him of it. Frigga had seen little of her youngest. He avoided her at the best of times and she feared what would become of him in his isolation. It was not a fear that was foreign to her. When Loki had learned of heritage, she had feared his separation from their family. No matter who his birth parents, Frigga had loved dwarfed frost-giant as her own, and so had her husband. She stopped walking only to realize that she stood outside her child's rooms. Taking a breath to ease the nerves that had gathered, Frigga knocked, sending four soft raps before allowing her hand to drop. There was the faint sound of shuffling, which was strange because Frigga knew her son valued his privacy and use a silencing charm on his door, before she heard the locks sliding out of place. When the door opened, the Asgardian queen at once noticed the change in her child. Loki bore dark circles beneath his eyes and his skin shone pale and thin, as though he had not eaten in many days. The smile on his face is forced and tired as he steps aside to allow Frigga into his room. What she saw frightened her. The room itself was in shambles. Bedding thrown to the floor, shards of glass resting near it. Pages from books and the books they belonged to strewn everywhere to join clothing that had been pulled from the dresser. Loki had taken up residence on his bed, legs pulled against his chest and eyes fixed, tracking his mothers movements. Frigga looked to her son and found herself moving before she could ask her body to do so. Placing herself at the edge of the young magic-users bed, she reached out and drug him into her embrace, fingers tangling in thick black hair while the other wrapped around his small waist. She could feel how thin her son had become, how tired. She feared for him and what was to come of this.

“What has caused this??” She would not have recognized the trembling voice as her own had she not felt the words pass her lips. She felt Loki tremble against her, body tense and breathing tired. She didn't understand. Her children had always been bright, and her youngest in particular a trickster. How could that light have left his eyes? And how is it that she had been unable to see it before this moment?

"I am well. Just a spell gone awry." The voice that met her ears startled her. Loki sounded so tired. So dead. It was as though he no longer cared. Frigga felt a cold settle inside her heart. Everything was going so wrong. She knew about the knife, about Frandral, but she refused to believe that her son had done such a thing. Yet with how Loki acted, how distant he was becoming from everyone, from his family, some part of her realized that it was true. That he had done exactly what she feared he'd had. And she knew that if she was aware of this, so was her husband. But he would be faster to judge. He would take no pity and he would accuse and incarcerate their youngest child without question.

And it seems, at least to her, that someone could read her mind. Because at that moment, the door slammed open, and in it stood her husband and a handful of guards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH GOD. I AM SO SORRY!! I AM SO LAZY AND I'M SORRY BECAUSE THIS CHAPTERSUCKSANDOHGODFORGIVEME~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. The Accused

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Sorry that this took so very long to be updated. I've been busy with school and what-not and haven't had much inspiration to work on this fic as I've been introduced to other fandoms. Thank you for sticking in there and waiting for me guys!!
> 
> Sorry about the shortness of the chapter, the next one is going to be longer.

The room fell into silence, Odin's great form filling the whole of the doorway, seeming to dwarf those around him with his power alone. His gaze held the raven haired tricksters, steely blue glaring into acid green. There was contempt there, anger that words alone would be unable to express. Odin knew its cause, just as he knew that he was unable to change it. Unable to give the words that he had wanted to all that time ago to make it all seem not so bad. Just as he had once believed the dwarfed Frost Giant child would grow to be an Asguardian. Just as he had once believed Loki to be his child and not that of a sworn enemy. But it seemed now that he had been proven wrong on both counts. Now, he knew better. Now he saw the error of his judgement. Now he had to fix it.

Standing that much taller, Odin moved from the doorway, allowing the guards that had trailed him room to enter his youngest's quarters. Frigga stood from the bed, fists clenched at her sides and her jaw set, eyes narrowed dangerously. The guards ceased their movement when their queen raised her hand. A king’s order was first, but their queens; as they had discovered over time, was absolute.

“I will not have this. Odin, husband, what are you doing??” The queen's voice was like ice, cold and angry and hissing out between her clenched teeth. She could feel her own nails digging half moons into her palms, and she was unsure if she had ever felt such anger towards the man that she loved. How dare he treat their son as though he was a criminal. Her husband turned to her, a look of misery and solid resolve reflected in his eye. It was not an expression that she had never seen him wear. It was disconcerting. It was heart breaking. The guards that flanked him moved further into the room, moving to flank the white-skinned magic user standing at the side of his bed.

“Loki Odinson, on the charges of treason, and plans to commit treason; I am hereby placing you under arrest.” The guards at the younger males sides grasped his arms at the hidden command in their King's voice. Loki did not struggle nor did he make any attempt to dispute his ‘father's’ claims. He knew what was coming. To a degree he had been expecting it. He knew that Fandral would not be able to keep his lips closed. He knew that the other would talk. In fact, he had been counting on it. Though he wished that he had had more time. Fandral is, unfortunately, loyal to a fault. He moved, willingly, as he was pulled forward. As he walked past his mother, he looked at the ground. For everyone he hated, everyone that had betrayed him, he could not hate her. He could never hate her. He focused on his mother’s cries and words of anger until he could hear them no more.

The cell that they deposit him in is small and cold and Loki finds it's temperature somewhere between ironic and fitting. He wonders, if for a moment, if Thor know's about what is happening. If he doesn't he soon will, things of this nature rarely stay silent for long. Regardless as to whether it is sooner or later, Loki knows how all of this is going to play out. There will be a trial, because there has to be; treason is no small thing. Fandral will speak about how Loki attacked him without cause, and spoke of the destruction of Asguard. There will be not talk of his own misgivings. Of what he's done to cause all that will follow. And Loki, Loki will stay quiet and listen. When it is his turn to speak, he isn't going to say anything because despite his silver tongue, things like this must be played out. Actions must be what speaks this time, not word.

-Medical Ward-

Thor is quick to move through the halls, making his way to the medical wing. Odin, his father, had arrested Loki. Something was so very wrong with all of this for him. The dagger, Fandral, the arrest. It was like a nightmare that he could not escape from. There had to be something else. The moment the blond god reached the healing warriors room, he swung the door open. Fandral was sitting up against the headboard, looking out the window. The twitch of his eye told Thor that his presence had not gone unnoticed.

"My father has arrested Loki." The warrior looks at him once the words are spoke, but he shows no surprise on his face. He had known that this would happen. Part of Thor wants to grab the other man by the shoulders and shake him for his indifference, but he knows that he cannot blame him either. If evidence was to be believed, Loki had attacked him without cause; though that idea sat sour in his mind.

"You want to know what happened." It's not a question that Fandral asks, but a statement that he's giving. He know's Thor. Knows what he wants and why, even if the God doesn't know either of those things himself. It makes him furious sometimes that the object of the Gods attention isn't him. But that's what had caused this, isn't it? His jealousy and lust. Jealousy that Thor didn't look at him like he did at Loki. Lust because he wanted Thor, and lust because he wanted Loki just as much. He doesn't say as much, however. He know's what he can and cannot say, and he works with that. He won't lie to his friend, but he won't tell him everything either.

He speaks, telling Thor that Loki had cornered him and attacked him. Told him that what the raven haired God has whispered to him, omitting the parts that would put him in suspicion. All the time that he is talking is watches the other's face. He'll know if the blond thinks that he is lying or senses that he isn't telling him everything. He gets no such idea from the other man, only watches as Thor's face falls and his posture looses the arrogance that it usually has. It's a sad sight, but Fandral will do just about anything to save his own self and the relationship he has with the other male.

He briefly wonder's when he had turned into such a coward.

"That can't be everything. There has to be something else. Loki wouldn't just......he isn't......." Thor struggles to find his words and want's nothing more than to take his anger out on the world around him. He wants to understand something that he can't and he doesn't want to believe that his brother, his beautiful brother, could be capable of what he's been accused of. But the blade he'd found and the bandages around Fandral's ribs tell him another story. They tell him that he doesn't know his brother as well as he thought he did, if at all, and that his brother is capable of terrible things. Still, it isn't right. Because Thor DID know his brother, better than he thought Loki knew himself sometimes. He knew about Loki's parentage, he knew about Loki's spells, and he knew about Loki's children; even when the other thought him blind to these things. He knew all of this, and he knew that the raven haired god wouldn't simply attack another out of nothing. Spite, yes. Anger, without a doubt; but never just because he could. There had to be something else, and he knew that there was only one place that he would get his answers.

The god bid his friend farewell before leaving, missing the mild look of shame on his face.


	6. Temporary Hiatus

Hey everybody, Marcus here. So, as most of you can tell this story doesn't really get updated very often. It's not because I'm too busy or don't have ideas, I do, but I'm not as in love this these ship as I was when I started it. Because of that, I'm going to be placing it on Hiatus until I can figure out if I'm going to keep it or get rid of it. Until then, I'll be uploading other fics and originals, but this one I just can't seem to make myself want to work on anymore.

Thank you to everyone that has followed it and been patient up to this point and I'm sorry to do this. I just need to figure out where this is going, if anywhere, and if I want to continue to work one it.

Thank you,  
Marcus

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first time writing Thorki. I'm a writer in training and I want you to be totally honest with me if you comment. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings!! ^ ^


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